Divorce. Breakup. Misscarriages. Rape. Affair. Bipolar. Tourette’s. Domestic violence. Alcoholism. Car accidents. Brain injury. Depression. Cancer. Death. Suicide. Anxiety. Pornography. Hospitalisations. Epilepsy.
18 months. The amount of time 99% of the aforementioned took, to sweep in and knock myself, and the 10 people closest to me off of our feet and to the ground. Everything above has occurred to, been performed by, has had ongoing effects and repocussions, or has affected one of these 10 people.
Tell me we are in control. Of ourselves. Of others. Of our lives. 2 years ago, car accidents were on the radio, cancer was a friend of a friend, affairs in the newspaper, rape on the news, pornography was under someone else’s bed, bipolar, depression, anxiety were not in my vocabulary, and death and suicide was always one person removed.
One of the very people closest to me is being bent, broken down and tested, trialled under so much pressure it’s not fair, and it hurts to watch. So many burdens they shouldn’t have to carry, yet they’re the only one who can.
I look around. Outside my beautiful 10. The world is hurting. People walk around empty, not even aware anymore of the space there to fill. We take drugs to survive the night, we take drugs to survive the day. We medicate to balance imbalances caused by medication. We work so long and so hard, all we can do in the time away is escape the thought of going back tomorrow. We escape in alcohol. We escape in drugs. We escape in escaping people and marriages, in affairs in pornography. We find escape in the absence of thought, causing accidents, mistakes, regrets, emptiness, loneliness, depression.
As I got home from work tonight and found myself on the end of a few seemingly more and more familiar phone calls, all this became far too real, too close and too overwhelming again.
Everyone around me, myself included is breaking. And I don’t know how to put all the pieces back together. I don’t know how to fix them.
I found myself sitting on the shower floor, cold water and warm tears washing over me. My hands faced upward and my head back as I sought for help, for answers, from somewhere…how do I help them??
There was a quote I read years ago. It gripped at my core then, and looking back it was like a warning, a battle cry preparing me for what was to come. Sitting naked and helpless on the floor this came to the front of my mind, bringing peace and stirring something deep within;
“I AM THE DAUGHTER OF A KING WHO IS NOT MOVED BY THE WORLD. FOR MY GOD IS WITH ME AND GOES BEFORE ME. I DO NOT FEAR BECAUSE I AM HIS.”
I can’t fix anyone. All I can do is support them. I can be there for them. Hold their hand. Light the way. And pray for them. But ultimately, God fixes people.
Only God can heal the broken, and it is our purpose to lead them to him. The world is full of sin. Sooner or later sin, pain, suffering, sadness, illness, hopelessness, longing, loneliness, emptiness, hunger, will in some way enter the lives of everyone. We can’t plan against it, stop it or prevent it. But we can be ready. We can submit to God’s will. Trust his perfect plan. Ask him to show us the way. And when we are too weak, the way is too dark or the road too broken, know that he carries us.
He goes before us, leading and lighting the way. He has taken our sin, our shame, our guilt, and all we need to do is trust him and follow where he leads us.
When we love and serve each other, and hold our trust, hope and faith steadfast in The Lord, nothing can touch us. We are warriors and he is our King. When all is dark and unclear, ask for guidance, and I guarantee the next step is there, shining bright and clear, like a beacon in the middle of a raging sea. That’s enough. That’s all you need to know right now. Get yourself there, cling on tight to God and he will light the way. Beacon by beautiful, redeeming beacon.
“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”
“No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.”
1 Corinthians 10:13